Author Wallace - MATHIAS WALLACE

Is Freedom a Trick: An Internal Discussion of a Lost Soul

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should!

But what if I want to and it makes me smile? What if it makes me feel good inside? Where does my happiness fall in this equation and what are the other variables? Who or what holds the authority to determine whether I should or not follow through with my thoughts [intentions]?

Isn’t this freedom [free will]? Aren’t we free to do as we please?

In a past life, we found ourselves pulled in different directions, battling thoughts and actions for fear of judgement from others. Fearing misunderstandings… fearing labels… fearing being outcast by society and left to live in solitude on a deserted island trapped with only our thoughts, guilt, and shame.

Hmm… Which will kill us first, our uncensored thoughts, momentous guilt, or darkest shame?

Shame? Why has this word escaped the human language in today’s time? Many believe we should bring shame back as people in general seem to care less these days. Youth are fighting their elders, parents consuming substances around their kids, and no one bats an eye. What happened to shame? How did we get here?

Some time ago, little boys couldn’t wear certain colors or play with particular toys for fear of being emasculated and deemed unworthy of carrying their father’s name. Little girls couldn’t learn certain skills and were restricted to what they could wear for fear of being possessed by a jezebel spirit and being disowned by their mothers.

Isn’t this freedom [free will]? Does the innocence or purity of one’s mind not matter?

Where have these standards come from, and who deemed it so? Whose interpretation declared it law? Interpretation… interpretation of what? Which house spoke this language? Who speaks as the head of this house?

Many are beginning to think to themselves that this language sounds quite familiar and close to home… as you begin looking around and scanning your brain for more clues or perhaps a scripture for reference.

Ahhh! The dust begins to settle, and our minds collectively remember these condemnations spoken in the House [Church] of our Father [Lord]. These interpretations were spoken with such conviction and persuasion of truth; parents never debated or gave pause to the instructions; other adults shrunk in shame for not meeting the various definitions or scripts of how to be a good man or a woman of value.

Shame was weaponized as a tool to shun you away from our Father’s house… you were declared an abomination… you were labeled as a woman unfit for a husband… you were viewed as a man too soft for a queen. And in this era, shame became powerful and unyielding.

But isn’t this, too, freedom [free will]? Obedience does not require understanding; compliance is what’s expected, right?

Over time, power was siphoned from the Father [Lord] and transfused into the veins of leaders addicted to the power of influence. Like a wildfire, this poison spread throughout communities and plagued nations for generations.

If you dared to think differently and raise questions, you were labeled a problem child, disobedient, shameful, or sinister. So, you rebelled by no longer showing your face, running away from the darkness that disguised itself as truth, love, and acceptance. This trauma followed you as the vision from your eyes faded, the beat of your heart declined, the sparkle of your spirit dimmed, and your confidence melted away as an orphan once embraced in a formidable House [Church].

What could you do, right? They declared themselves chosen by God directly… God spoke to them weekly, right? No matter how much you prayed, God never spoke directly to you [you never heard his voice]. Therefore, their interpretations must be true, right?

What if I told you God lives in each of us who choose to believe in Him and all judgement rests in his hands? Not every House [Church] was built on His foundation or with a leader chosen by Him!

All that time you thought you were running, you were sleepwalking and not gaining any clarity. Clarity comes with knowledge, knowledge comes from reading, reading His words gives you unlimited power, and with power comes an avalanche of responsibility.

Now, isn’t this Freedom [free will]? Shouldn’t freedom [free will] lead us to God, hold us accountable and enlighten us?

A simple humanitarian act such as respecting our fellow neighbor is a lost concept. Most appear to be in survival mode and there’s no space for niceties when people are “too” occupied fighting for resources, fame, and opportunity. And that my friend, is when we begin our fall from grace. Being too busy for God [praying]… being too tired for God [praying]… living too well for God [praying]… in too much pain for God [praying]… being too happy to need God [prayer].

When you’re too anything for God and begin to engage in your freedom [free will], all hell breaks loose. Living for the moment may have irreparable consequences that not even prayer can cure. Not caring about your neighbor, parents, or the elderly leads you astray from our Father’s grace, protection, and mercy. Granting God’s authority to any man or woman on this earth will always open the door to confusion, disappointment, and heartache.

Just because you can do or say whatever you like does not mean you should, because whether you believe it or not, every action has a consequence and God is always watching!

Use your freedom [free will] to earn your golden pass into the gates of heaven. Pray for others more than yourself, give to others more than you receive, share God’s glory with happiness, uplift your neighbors with a kind heart, and be a beacon of hope when others are trapped in darkness!

Now that’s freedom [free will]! Moving in alignment with God!

Breaking Free from Emotional Chains: A Personal Tale

I granted you access to my life, not authority over who I am or who I may become. I guess it’s true what the old folks say, “You give them an inch, they’ll take a mile”!

I gave you my vulnerability and you saw it as a gateway… a gateway and playground for your ego to cause more confusion, pain, and doubt.

In a moment of weakness, I shared with you my truth… the heartache…the insecurities…the nightmares…the hidden wounds. Did you see me for me, or just another opportunity for you…an opportunity to appear omnipotent?

For a while I said nothing, convinced myself that I wasn’t bothered. I ignored all the red flags, convincing myself that I wasn’t triggered. I offered you grace, even if doing so left me damaged inside.

I left all of me behind…buried my body…compartmentalized my mind…froze my heart…and walked blindly into the darkness. Head bowed and senses numb to the elements of this world.

Anything was better than the grief…anything was better than crying…anything was better than facing reality [the true nightmare that never wanted to end]. Besides, what more could I lose? What more could be taken from me? Name one thing left in my life of value…yeah, I couldn’t name anything either.

Little did I know, you were not done with me. Your greed sickened me. Your wickedness crippled me. Your evil eye paralyzed me. All this time you were not chasing me…you were studying me…plotting against me…waiting strategically to conquer what no one else has achieved.

From my first struggles as a child, you could sense me coming…falling. Since the enactment of the first trauma and my blood spilled effortlessly into the cool water, you could smell me…taste me even. Excitement consumed you from the imagination of my pain…my endless tears… a lifetime of tragedy waiting ahead of me.

Feeling powerless or lost in the world or in any circumstance eats at you in ways that are often indescribable to those accustomed to eating with a silver spoon. Do we dare educate and face the narcissistic monster lurking in the shadows?

Is our truth worth fighting for? Is peace worth new scars? Is contentment worth new disappointments?

I say to the Universe, I don’t belong to you! Your moment of control over me is DONE! Release me! Release me, I say! I’m ending this pity party…I’m defeating this depression…I’m crushing the uncertainty…I’m burning the guilt…I’m dismantling all fear in my heart, mind, and spirit!

We choose to keep fighting, but there are moments when the storms continue to smash against our homes [lives]…breaking windows [spirits]…fracturing foundations [souls]. And yet, we rebuild [our faith], knowing it can happen again.

Is this wisdom or insanity? Is this our way of fighting back? Is this our way of sending a message?

Perhaps, it’s a message that anything created and design by God can be restored! Maybe, it’s a message that despite what is fighting against us isn’t nearly as powerful as He who already died for us. It’s possible we have been reading and interpreting the story…our story…inaccurately this whole time.

Turn on the light, flip the mirror around, see the real you…notice the light? As dim as it may appear at first, it’s still there…it’s still yours! That light and its power belong to you! Now tell me, what are you going to do with it?

The time is coming…build your strength…ground your feet…form your fists. Tighter, like you believe it!

The time is nearing to end our self-doubt…every time you thought you were broken beyond repair you stood tall. When you thought your story was ending, God created a new chapter. You thought grace from this world was beyond your reach, and yet you found your breath…you remembered your voice…you rediscovered your passion…you felt the warm kiss of the Sun once again and your purpose re-emerged.

Our aspirations are not too big. Our dreams are not impractical. The blessings we pray for each night are not unreasonable. I declare what is for me, is mine! What God has for you, is for you!

I don’t require affirmations from this world. The whispers from the vain, empty-hearted, calculating, soulless, 5% believer, 95% universe worshippers hold no power or authority over me.

The pain from my scars…mine! The joy from my victory…mine! The guilt locked in pandoras box…mine! The testimony healing this world…mine! The God recharging my soul…mine! The blessing underway due to my faith…mine! The breakthrough because of my prayers…mine! The deliverance of my soul from fasting…Mine!

What God has for me cannot be taken by any man or entity reveling in the universe…IT IS FOR ME! Declare what IS FOR YOU!

Beyond the Sweetness of Delusion: One Shocking Call for Help

Many things have been said and done towards us over the years. Some of these encounters came with perfect timing, providing just what we needed at the moment. We were encouraged, provided with resources, or given wisdom. Some people have a gift of knowing exactly what to say. Others are blessed and driven to help others with the tools available for dissemination to those struggling.

Not to mention, it’s such a blessing to know these types of people who never ask for anything…they offer and add value to your life. They do not burden you with their horror stories at a sad attempt of winning the “Who has the Worst Life” award. They share things that are exciting, distracting from your daily woes and times of strife.

They share things that remind you that the world is still spinning and life continues to move forward. It forces you to decide whether to remain stagnant or fight for the life you deserve. Some of the battles we face require assistance from the outside… a source greater than ourselves…an essence not stripped of its catalyst of strength.

Let’s give a shout out to the people that listen with an open ear…non-judgmental friends/family that see us as humans first. We love you! At times, you give the best advice. You never allow us to live in our delusion or false realities that offer a temporary guise of healing and peace.

Moreover, the words of positivity that you offer… the hugs you extend… the car rides in silence…or having your presence near us…they remind us God is real. They remind us He is loving. They remind us He is forgiving. They remind us He has warriors positioned all over and serving His will.

The strong one! The wise one! The image of resilience! The voice of reason and logic!

As a matter of fact, we recognize that those who carry these titles did not willingly choose them on their own. Some of us were involuntarily nominated in these roles at an early age and the responsibility never quite reassigned itself to someone else.

Why? Why must we achieve excellence in everything we do? Where does the strength come from? Or are you/we better at hiding what’s really going on? Does helping others provide a selfless outlet or escape from your own problems?

Similarly, this must be part of your strategy for healing, by supporting others, counseling the broken, equipping the poor, and serving the unfortunate…a more commendable space of delusion, of course.

Though, if we could be honest for a moment, delusion feels good when it’s not active in an atmosphere of toxicity. We cannot sit here and pretend otherwise. On the contrary, delusion is like the mid-night snack we know is not good for our health, but it will satisfy the craving and send us off to sleep.

In spite of the weird dreams that may come with eating so close to bedtime, we managed to fall asleep and that was the priority! Most would prefer to feel weird rather than restless. In this case, a win is a win!

When we think back in time and the conversations or interactions with people, not everything said has hurt us. Not everything said has broken our spirits. Not all things said or done required a response or reaction. Not all things done to us left a physical bruise to remind us of the altercation or disagreement.

Most, as you begin to reminisce, may recall taking the high road regardless to maintain peace and minimize hostility. Has there ever been a moment where the high road cost your peace of mind? Has it ever caused your spirit to be unsettled? Did it fill you with regret? How often does this encounter stalk you while daydreaming?

Comparatively to the previous scenario, this too, is delusion. We often times find ourselves compromising and accommodating others for the sake of being peaceful. As perplexed as it may sound, these “selfless” acts can cause more damage if we’re not careful.

We should not be compromising when our values are completely disregarded by the oppressor. We should not be accommodating when our faith is under attack, no matter the discomfort or level of intimidation. We should not take the high road when our family values are omitted, leaving our loved ones demoralized or petrified. We should not turn the other cheek when decrepit soulless beings attempt to steal our souls, joy, purpose, or connection to The Almighty.

As apprehensive as it may seem, these are not the instances to sit in the delusion of taking the high road. This my friend is when we turn and fight. We fight for what is ours. We fight for what we have worked so hard for in life. We fight for the things God has declared were ours, and ours along.

We fight to take a stand! We fight to be remembered! We fight for the weak! We fight for lost souls unable to find their way. We fight for the disadvantaged! We fight for the underdog! We fight because this spiritual warfare has claimed too many lives.

We fight because our Purpose is bigger than Pride!

To have clarity of when to fight and when to stand down, one must be connected, anointed, patient, humble, slow to react, a praying warrior, purpose-filled, and emptied of him/herself and sustained by the Holy one.

That promotion is yours, position yourself to be competitive. That new house is yours, build your team and go for it. That new business is yours, establish a plan and pursue it. That healing you’ve prayed for is on it way, pray and believe it is done. That emptiness deep inside does not belong there, claim your purpose every day and believe it. That justice belongs to you, equip yourself with the resources to declare victory.

Prayer – Action = Disappointment & Defeat

I write this passage to declare your Victory in 2026! Be Bold, Kind, Thoughtful, Vigilant, Confident, Hopeful, True, and practice Discernment!

Bring That Old Thing Back – Destiny

It’s your season! Yes, you! Don’t look around for the next person. I’m speaking to you! Do you believe me? Do you believe in yourself? Let me guess… you don’t think you deserve it, right? You’re less than perfect so there must be someone else more deserving, right?

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How long do you plan on residing here, in this place of pity, in this place of doubt, in this place of worthlessness? What will it take to pull you from the darkness and into the light? We want that old thing back…not the old you…but rather the light and fire that luminated the world and provided the warmth needed to feel God’s love.

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Yes! We want that old thing back! Who stole it from you? Did you give it away? Perhaps, you simply gave up. Why? Why turn your back on who you were becoming? Was it due to fear… fear of the amount of work it will take to sustain the new you… fear of the new challenges that come with the enlarged territory… fear of the blessing that would overwhelm you?

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Just tell me one thing… How has running benefited you? Are you happier? Have you grown closer to God, or further away? Do you feel stronger or weaker? Is this light that dwells inside of you brighter or dimmer? What about your clarity…is the vision for your future clearer?

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What you’re doing to yourself is wasting time. You’re wasting time and limiting yourself on experiencing all that life has to offer. Right now, you think you’ve done all that you possibly could in life. But what you don’t realize is that you are completely incapable of seeing the forest. Massive sequoia trees stand before you and they are blocking the view. You are captivated by what’s in front of you thinking this is all God has instore for you when it’s not.

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It’s time to stop distracting yourself. It’s time to stop the excuses. It’s time to stop waiting to be rescued. It’s time to stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s time to face your childhood trauma and defeat it. You are no longer a little kid… you possess the strength to fight back now. Stand in the strength God has blessed you with. Every trial has prepared you for this moment. Hold up your mighty fists and strike with the mighty power of God!

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SWING for the times you felt abandoned! SWING for the times you felt unloved! SWING for the times you were left hungry! SWING for the times you were abused! SWING for the times you cried yourself to sleep! SWING for the times the electricity went out! SWING for the times you didn’t have hot water! SWING for the times drugs and alcohol meant more to your parent(s) than loving you! SWING for all the times you only heard “I Love You” when you said so to yourself in the mirror! SWING for every time you were called names, but never beautiful!

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Beloved… my friend… my sibling in Christ…every swing you just released will serve as a bandage of healing! Yes, that’s right! From this point forward you will embark on your healing journey. You know what it feels like to be burden. You know what it feels like to be sad and depressed. You know what it feels like to have an emptiness [void] corrode the life of your soul.

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You know what it feels like to have so much anger trapped inside that not a speck of joy or optimism could penetrate your essence. You know what it feels like to have hopelessness drain your life source [spirit] leaving you a powerless vessel for consumption by the demons of the night.

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How about we start fresh? You deserve a restart, right? Healing from the inside will get you there. Accepting that life will not always be fair, even for God’s anointed. Here’s something [wisdom] you may have bypassed during your strife, you have been equipped with every tool needed to defeat the ills of the night.

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It sprouts from within… grace… mercy… forgiveness… love… understanding… empathy… selflessness… faith…strength…light… clarity… blessings…God!

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It all sprouts from within! When will you tap into what’s within? How much time have you spent looking for these elements of survival and prosperity elsewhere? How much have you tried to borrow from others? It’s ok! We all have been there. Looking inside forces us to face the truth; the truth of who we are; the truth of how weak we truly feel at times.

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Here is something you may not have heard in a while… GOD IS NOT DONE WITH YOU! And because I love Him, I’m also sending love and prayers of healing your way! Why? Because you would do the same for me. By reading this passage, you have inherited a prayer warrior in your corner. Surely you expected that, right? It’s clear you were led here to add to your village of support. YOU ARE NEVER ALONE…when you love God!

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It’s the people you never realize that pray the hardest for you. We want you to smile. We want you to feel loved again. We want you to restore your faith. We want you to see you for you!

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I know you were knocked down, kicked, and spit on. But hear me when I say this is not how your story ends! Today is not the day we say goodbye. Today is the day we say hello; hello to the new you, the EVOLVED you. Just take the first step to believe. Have the courage to take the first SWING at life!

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It is never too late to turn things around for your good. It is never too late to say, “Enough is Enough!”

Bring that old thing back…CONFIDENCE!

Signed,

Someone who loves you, because Christ first loved me!

The Unexpected is Always Around the Corner

Is it just me, or is anyone else out there wondering, “Does the war ever end for the strong”? Just when you think you’ve fought your last fight…you’ve slayed the last beast…and you take a deep breath to gather yourself and the little dignity you have left…here comes yet another weapon formed against you.

Perhaps, I’m being slightly dramatic here, but these new weapons hit differently. These new weapons of today… my goodness… they take your breath away leaving you empty and second-guessing life. Why me? Why now? Did I not prove myself the last round?

Is this the point where we pause and laugh together…to keep from crying? You know what they say…misery loves company, right?! For your sake, I pray you’ve discovered an unwavering support system, or at a minimum, a healthy outlet to help you reset. During this day and age, I find it even more imperative to be in sync with your inner strength.

What happens if we’re tired? What happens if life has beat our a** so much you feel depleted, abandoned, or misled with false hope? After all, we are just humans! Spiritual battles are only one aspect of the trials we face on earth that have been designed to prepare us for something greater [What does this mean, “something greater”?].

This my friend is why I say your inner source of strength must be grounded by something not bound by the limitations of the dimensions for which we reside. The connection must be charged by energy powerful enough to move planets through the solar system…electric enough to dispel darkness from the deepest corner of your soul… and though powerful, it must be graceful enough to hold and carry you when your spirit has been stolen from the demons in the shadows, lurking for a moment of vulnerability to leech onto your innocence and purity.

As a believer, the toughest lessons to live with sometimes are the instructions of “not to question”, and to “walk by faith and not by sight”… “lean not on your own understanding”. It may leave you feeling guilty and shameful for the residual confusion resting in your essence, paralyzing you emotionally while left genuinely intrigued to know, “Is there something I did not learn from the previous test, or did I overlook the true lesson? What is it about me that screams…YES! I can take more! Send your greatest warrior this way!”

Maybe, you [like me] simply need a freaking break. 30 seconds, if you will, to just feel alive [rather than merely existing] …a brief moment to experience anything other than grief, sadness, doubt, emptiness, confusion, pain, or hopelessness. Why am I the strong one, deemed durable to withstand any challenge as a victorious warrior?

No one talks about the exhaustion that comes with being strong. No one talks about the loneliness that comes with being resilient. No one speaks about the scars, though unnoticeable to the naked eye, that linger in perpetuity and continue to sting in times of solitude. No one dares to speak on the fear of not being worthy of a good life when all you know is fighting for survival, fighting for air, fighting to live without always standing on-guard, fighting the temptation to dream because your entire life has been a disaster [complete utter chaos with sprinkles of sunshine to convince you to be grateful].

*Dramatic pause to gather our emotions as flashbacks of previous battles and the intertwined emotions flood our mind. *

Do you think you could handle the knowledge that accompany these trials of preparation and what they are equipping us for later in life, or the next life? Would it change how you approach battles against the enemy that intends to destroy every flicker of light in the world? What would you change about your way of thinking and processing of the challenges present in your life? I’m curious to know how many people would dig deep and muster the strength needed to keep fighting. Would your sadness, insecurities, and doubt continue to prevail?

One thing we know for sure, or rather we choose to believe, is every battle and every weapon formed and placed before us is for a reason. Every warrior of Christ was specifically chosen, and your destiny is UNDENIABLE! You were NOT a mistake! The most important question for you in this moment… Will you choose to evolve to the next level or remain stagnant in your faith and subsequently in your battle against the darkness that never sleeps?

Stop trying to make your way back to who you were in the past…stop looking for someone to rescue you and fight on your behalf. What if you were sent as the rescue for someone else? What if you are the blessing sent to shine your light as a beacon of hope and navigator to salvation?

As painful as it may be to read/hear, we can’t always be the victim… we can’t always give up because we’re tired… we can’t always cry when the stress and tension feel unbearable… we can’t always look for help when previous trials have equipped us to be resilient, resourceful, and reinforcement for the weak and battered.

Stop fighting with the same techniques and tactics that have led to failure in the past. You are greater, stronger, wiser, emboldened, trusted, and CHOSEN! There is no one else in the universe like you. No one else was created to journey the path you have embarked in life… though many people have crossed your path and influenced your direction… there is no other YOU!

With that, we, the WORLD, need you to be VICTORIOUS! Your light must shine forever… your love must pulsate steadily…your smile must warm the world on the highest frequency… your spirit must lead us to salvation because it is He that dwells inside you, which declares you an extension of the Lord of Lord and King of Kings…the omnipotent one with all power in His hands!

No matter what battle you may be facing today, I need you to conquer it all… for me!

You are more than ENOUGH!

https://www.facebook.com/AWRITERSHOPE

Secrecy (Your Free Will), by Author Wallace

What is it about secrets that forces the heart to race and triggers goosebumps to tingle down your spine? Why does holding onto a secret feel as good as your favorite ice-cream sundae on a hot Friday afternoon? At least sometimes, right? Some might say there is power in having knowledge that no one or possibly very few people may be aware of in life. The smirk of innocence you hold on your face and the silent giggle trapped within that feeds your soul in a way food never could satisfy you. A secret so delicious you dare not allow a word to spill from your lips. The look of seduction you give a person as your essence desperately wants to share just a piece of your secret from the rim of your mouth.

Why not give the world what we desire…why not share just a tiny taste to quench our hunger? We too, yearn for a speck of enlightenment in our lives. Your secret, if spilled at the right place and at the right time, could change a person’s life forever, my dear. Why not show us the power of the words being constrained by the grasp and tight squeeze of your tongue? We just might like what you have to share…your delivery just might send us to the destination we’ve been too afraid to admit to ourselves. Your truth, escorted by the tone and rhythm of your voice might be the liberation our soul has been seeking by meditating and sending vibrations of manifestation into the universe. You know what they say about closed mouths, right? Umm…

Why do people give secrets so much power? Is it an illusion of power? Do you find holding secrets from your friends or from those you love an assertion of dominance or advantage? Or is this only for the few people capable of selling deceit to the masses? Hmm, speculating here, but could this possibly apply only to the people who enjoy masking multiple personalities? The people who enjoy exhibiting one embodiment to their mother, another to their wife or husband, and yet another to their best-friend…Oh, how much fun it must be to rid your shell and showcase your chameleon like superpowers whenever beneficial for you: protecting that secret with all your strength and enjoying every minute of personified delusion.

Is there only enjoyment found in those holding secrets because of who they may be trying to protect or what they are trying to protect…such as one’s ego, for instance? What if losing the love of your life was the value at risk, would you give your secret away? How much appetite does your ego have daily? Isn’t it true that we all, to some extent, have a degree of egotistical behavior whether we believe or accept it to be true? Aren’t we all imperfect? Don’t tell me you, the one reading this right now, is perfect. Don’t tell me you’re wise beyond your years and such things do not apply to you. How wonderful it must be… to be YOU! Hmm…

Well, there’s only one being with the designated authority to judge, and it’s not the one writing these words or the one reading them. Therefore, do not expect a net of judgement to cast from this direction. I could simply be intrigued enough to want a sample…of that secret. I’ve been told that once I harness a secret it stays locked in Pandora’s box forever. When was the last time someone took care of your secret so distinctively it left you speechless and wanting to share every…thing…you’ve ever learned in life? Who deserves that more in life than me…the guardian of secrets?

Perhaps, it’s my job to convince you to let it out. FREE YOURSELF! Stop allowing your light to be dimmed by the bondage of your secret. Scan those in your life and even those surrounding you for the worthiness of your secret. He/she just might be right in your face. Think of how you might feel about not sharing your power all this time. Think of how electrifying the experience could be when two compatible spirits collide in harmony with all secrets… exposed.

Who’s to say the power you thought you were harnessing within by not sharing that secret, could be dramatically enhanced by a beholder well-equipped for what you have to share. Don’t limit yourself in life by narrow-thinking. Don’t limit yourself because of insecurities. Don’t limit yourself because of the unknown. The unknown could potentially lead you to the blessing of a lifetime.

Oh my, just how satisfied you might become…Damn! Thinking of your hap·pi·ness surely put a smirk on my face.

Whether your guilty pleasure is hoarding secrets or eating a glazed donut while dieting, most believe you deserve to be loved either way, flaws and all. Your path to love is paved by what you hold within. Is there purity within you? What charges you, is it light or darkness? Are you moved by merriment or gloom? Figure out your source in life and it just might reveal who’s worthy of your secret. But then again, withholding your secret like an unpollinated flower blissfully unaware of the treasure inside may be your bewildering pleasure.

If you like it, then I love it…for you! Just remember, sharing your secret(s) with me will not diminish your power; you will be elevated to new heights…a new dimension…places never explored before with a weightless iridescent soul!

Set your secret(s) free…with me…or at least the next best option. You…deserve… freedom!

The Test, by Author Wallace

In many, if not most, cases I believe we as humans have no clue what life is about. This leads to my perception of why faith/belief may serve as both relief and/or tremulous fear. Doubt, guilt, optimism, overwhelming sadness, or even unrelenting streaks of good luck, my friend, may influence your mental state and there is no telling where you may fall on the spectrum of “clarity” for the most important question of our entire existence because of these intoxicating emotions. “Why are we here, or why were we created?”

I believe those who indulge in alcoholism/drug-use without pause are desperately trying to escape their sadness, hurt, and disappointment with the lack of answers and direction from the Almighty God. “If He spoke to people in the bible, then why not speak to me? Why can’t He hear me? Why doesn’t He respond to my prayers? Is He even listening? Is He really there?” These are the questions several brothers and sisters of faith have shared with me which have influenced the feeling of loneliness and abandonment, in terms of their connection to faith.

In my mind, this has contributed greatly to the trending culture of “Living Your Best Life” or “You Only Live Once” lifestyles. Why think of the future, which you have no control over, if you can simply focus on the present and do what makes you happy? Do you think this thought process plays into why church congregations are declining? Was this the case for you? Some think it’s easier to live a life of no regrets and no consideration of consequences for their actions. There is nothing wrong with happiness on earth, right? We all deserve happiness, right? Anyone who chooses to live along the lines of these principles, I have one question. Do you think obtaining and maintaining the pleasures of this world is our ultimate purpose? Let that marinate for a moment as we continue to explore this topic.

For me, life is extremely complicated while our individual purpose for existing is succinct and yet profound. The big question from me to you, is whether you’re going to allow your trials aka tests, to define you in a spiral of disarray, or lead you through a path of evolution and selflessness? The average human being fights relentlessly to return to their “old self” when life strikes them with tragedy or trauma. Unfortunately, they lose the fight each time which leads them to living the YOLO lifestyle as described above, due to constant defeat and lack of clarity. “Why can’t I be happy like before the incident(s)? Why do I feel this void?” My dear friend, when life kicks our a**, it’s not designed or expected of us to return to who we were in the past. We are expected to evolve to the next level spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically. Stop fighting backwards and begin moving forward with nothing but faith in your heart that God will lead you to prosperity, wholeness, joy, discernment, peace, and clarity! Don’t focus on the end result or outcome, but rather remain certain that you’re in good hands.

That my friend, is how you pass the test! Place your focus on God and pray for alignment. Challenge your mindset from pursuing things that make you happy and replace it with thoughts and actions which may be pleasing to Him. Sounds easy, right? Hahaha! No, it’s much easier said than done, but your life can change to be more satisfying from a wholistic perspective that does not require mental stimulus from drugs or alcohol. Instead of running away from your fears and doubt, you will slowly begin to walk toward strength and positivity. You will gradually find yourself filled with optimism which will soon give birth to Hope! Don’t expect to go from 0-100. Don’t expect the process to be linear, as there will be times for a pause, a step to the side, or even a hop over an obstacle. Remember, the focus is on the journey rather than the finish line.

No none of us know what the finish line looks like or when we will reach it. However, we can control how we get there and our mental, emotional, and psychological state when we make it. Many believe you can manifest the life you want and things will gravitate toward you based on your manifestation. My only caution is to ensure you’re tapping into the true light during your manifestations. I would hate for this earth to become the greatest “heaven” you will experience. There is so much more waiting for us!

Be patient. Be kind. Be loving. Be resilient. Be courageous. Be bold. Be faithful, to God!

When a Legend Crosses Over, by Author Wallace

You started off by yourself with a simple idea in your head thinking, “Oh no! There’s no way it will work out like that for me.” Time passes and day by day you play with the idea, but it’s only fun at this point so you continue to dribble with the best imitation of your favorite basketball player. Hundreds of hours spent running, jumping, sliding, and shooting the ball at the basket. A missed shot here and a horrible pass there, but you remained resilient and poised. The look in your eyes said it all! The calmness of your heart and steady but soft breathing spoke volumes in those moments of truth. Who would you become? Could you be brave enough to try even when you feel defeated or broken? What legacy would you leave behind?

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Luckily for the world, you were anointed with pure talent and potential, but like any other flower desperate to bloom, you required love, nourishment, and a source of light to guide you through the darkness. And, with all you reaped from this earthly plane , you were compassionate enough to return and plant new seeds in the garden of life. The journey may not have been easy, but for any man or woman courageous enough to face society and claim your destiny, you surely are not vain enough to believe the road ahead would be without challenges. Like the gladiators of the past, you faced your opponents with the intent to prevail and be declared victorious! Thousands of contestants over the course of the years attempted to claim your throne, but they failed!
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Why? Why you? Was it the countless hours spent practicing your future signature move over and over until it was perfect? Was it the extra time spent watching films and speaking with your mentors? Perhaps, it was the sacrifices you made on and off the court that made you a fierce warrior destined to be King. These points mixed your incomparable determination and knowledge of the game served as your secret ingredients to become the renowned and immortal spirit of the Black Mamba! Crowds have yelled and cheered your name to heaven as you finessed your way into the air, separating from your opponent, and scoring the winning shot time after time! It was magical. It was electrifying. It was you, KOBE!

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Your legacy shall live on forever, stitched in the hearts and minds of nations. From the training camps of little kids to the personal time spent coaching your daughter, your impact echoed across the sea. And, for that we say THANK YOU! How many young children were given hope when they saw you create art on the court, as you paraded from end to end eager to win in honor of your city? How many young men turned from violence and picked up a basketball instead of a gun I wonder? How many mothers were grateful to see their sons remove basketball shoes from their backpack rather than drugs? Those fighting a life sentence in prison will say that giving a man hope is a dangerous thing. The hope you ignited deep within the souls of the once doubtful youth, changed the trajectory of their life’s and now they are leading the way. You shall never fade from our memory for as long as our lungs are filled with air and our minds conscious of this world.
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Now, the time has come for us to say “until next time!” You have earned your wings and have been declared a new guardian angel to protect us the unforeseen battles surrounding us daily. What better warrior to protect the young, old, and incapacitated? We will continue to pray for strength, resilience, and hope to cover your family!

Rest Peacefully, King! ❤️

Life, by Author Wallace

Many days we wake up completed exhausted, both mentally and emotionally; physically, we could run a marathon. How is this possible? Is something wrong with me? Everyone knows the human body is such a miraculous creation, and we are still learning new things about its functions and capabilities. Some of you, like me, wake up feeling lost. It’s not severe enough to worry you, but it’s deep enough to make lay there as your mind wonders from one thought to the next. Is it because of my Zodiac sign, although its seldom that I acknowledge astrology when searching for reason? Is it because I’m addicted to overthinking? Is it because I simply enjoy exploring the unknown? Maybe, this is adulting, right? This happens to people approaching 30 years of age, right? Life!

Life is so unpredictable, and as soon as you believe you have things figured out, BOOM! Life serves you a curveball, and now you’re back where you started, in bed and staring at the ceiling and puzzled on how you ended up in your current situation. What did I do to deserve this? Is this my punishment for not giving the homeless man $2 at the gas station? “I promise I just didn’t want to build the expectation that I’ll always have an extra dollar every time I come to get gas or a bag of chips or my favorite candy bar.” Life!

Wow! If you believe life is a game, please provide me with the cheat codes so that I may give my brain a break from thinking and drawing conclusions. Who knew that mental and emotional exhaustion can build to a point that it leaves you paralyzed? Who knew? One day you can flip a military tank, and the next day you’re crawling out of bed fighting desperately to make it to work because you have bills to pay. Who knew? One day you can’t wait to call your best friend and the next day your phone is on “Do Not Disturb” because the life inside of you that enjoys socializing is simply gone! Lights out folks, because you have nothing left. Life!

This, this can’t be life, right? What’s the matter with me? “Lord, help me to identify the issue that’s controlling my subconscious and impacting my reality!” We scream these words to heaven with our eyes filled with liquid hope. Our lips tremble as hope escape our eyes and runs down our cheeks. Suddenly, the space around you moves in slow motion as hope drips from the bottom of your chin and falls ever slowly to the floor. Your eyes close as the confusion in your head converts to emptiness in your heart, and you fall. You fall down to your knees as hope creates a puddle beneath you, creating a black hole attempting to swallow you whole. Life!

Many may believe this is a display of weakness, by allowing yourself to be so vulnerable. But, what do they know? How many lives have they lived? Do they have a direct hotline to the Almighty who has all power and knowledge? No! Each of us, have the right and I dare say privilege to feel how we feel, unapologetically! Donnie McClurkin once said that a Saint is just a sinner who fell down, and got up! My friend, fall, fall to your knees and allow that pain to flow through you and out into the abyss. But, remember to find the strength to get up once again. You’re still in this fight, and you have been equipped to win whether you believe it or not. Life!

Become the author of your own story as you pray to the creator of words. You will discover that not only will you be blessed with the strength to get up, but you’ll be running that marathon, the marathon called LIFE!

The Darkness, Called Doubt – by Author Wallace

One thing that kills our community, is doubt! And, I’ll be one of the first to say, “It’s not your fault.” You may have witnessed your childhood friend getting gunned down by another classmate simply because he/she made good grades on their homework and exams. You may have experienced bullying because your entrepreneurial spirit escalated at an early age. Some people may have been outcasts because they were too poor to fit-in.

Families fall apart and children are forced to choose one parent over the other. Single parents work two jobs and still barely providing for their kids. Exhausted teachers with no support and growing classrooms, take their frustrations out on the students. Police make unlawful arrests, incarcerate the youth on petty drug charges, but fail to convict murderers. And, all these things may have contributed to you losing hope in yourself, family, and community.

One bad experience after another and you find yourself filled with doubt. Doubting that you can make it out of your community alive. Doubting that you’re worthy of success. Doubting that you’ll live to see your 18th or 21st birthday. Who would have thought that living to see your 18th birthday was a life goal worth cherishing? Could you imagine waking up everyday and the thought of returning home alive consuming your thought process? Perhaps, you can and sadly for some, that’s their greatest life achievement.

Young kids usually start off with dreams of being an astronaut, famous dancer, professional athlete, lawyer, doctor, and even the president. I can recall excitement oozing from a child’s eyes and smile as he/she spoke about their big dreams of conquering the world and building their legacy. But, now it’s disturbing how a hard life eats away at your inner light, and fills you with the darkness, known as doubt, and you’re left with nothing but survival instincts.

I repeat, it is not your fault and you are not alone! The life of your community depends on you and the actions you take to revive it back to it’s former glory, or to elevate it to a status no one has ever witnessed. Your past does not have to define your future. Your current struggles do not have to define your destiny. Your limitations do not have to detour your focus or dreams. Your were created uniquely different from anyone else, and you possess the tools to achieve your wildest dreams. The only being capable of stopping you, is YOU!

It is ok to be afraid of what the future holds! It is ok to be uncertain about how things will end. It is even ok to question whether you’re ready to take that leap of faith. Just remember, greatness is waiting for you on the other side of that struggle, disadvantage, or doubt you’re currently facing. But, always find the courage to listen to that voice on the inside saying, “The time is now, you can do this!”

Thank you for reading my blog, and share this message with others! Also, remember to leave a comment about how you felt while reading this week’s blog. Did it resonate with you and a previous or current battle you’re fighting? Tell me your thoughts and we can discuss more.

Be blessed, my friends!