Life - MATHIAS WALLACE

The Test, by Author Wallace

In many, if not most, cases I believe we as humans have no clue what life is about. This leads to my perception of why faith/belief may serve as both relief and/or tremulous fear. Doubt, guilt, optimism, overwhelming sadness, or even unrelenting streaks of good luck, my friend, may influence your mental state and there is no telling where you may fall on the spectrum of “clarity” for the most important question of our entire existence because of these intoxicating emotions. “Why are we here, or why were we created?”

I believe those who indulge in alcoholism/drug-use without pause are desperately trying to escape their sadness, hurt, and disappointment with the lack of answers and direction from the Almighty God. “If He spoke to people in the bible, then why not speak to me? Why can’t He hear me? Why doesn’t He respond to my prayers? Is He even listening? Is He really there?” These are the questions several brothers and sisters of faith have shared with me which have influenced the feeling of loneliness and abandonment, in terms of their connection to faith.

In my mind, this has contributed greatly to the trending culture of “Living Your Best Life” or “You Only Live Once” lifestyles. Why think of the future, which you have no control over, if you can simply focus on the present and do what makes you happy? Do you think this thought process plays into why church congregations are declining? Was this the case for you? Some think it’s easier to live a life of no regrets and no consideration of consequences for their actions. There is nothing wrong with happiness on earth, right? We all deserve happiness, right? Anyone who chooses to live along the lines of these principles, I have one question. Do you think obtaining and maintaining the pleasures of this world is our ultimate purpose? Let that marinate for a moment as we continue to explore this topic.

For me, life is extremely complicated while our individual purpose for existing is succinct and yet profound. The big question from me to you, is whether you’re going to allow your trials aka tests, to define you in a spiral of disarray, or lead you through a path of evolution and selflessness? The average human being fights relentlessly to return to their “old self” when life strikes them with tragedy or trauma. Unfortunately, they lose the fight each time which leads them to living the YOLO lifestyle as described above, due to constant defeat and lack of clarity. “Why can’t I be happy like before the incident(s)? Why do I feel this void?” My dear friend, when life kicks our a**, it’s not designed or expected of us to return to who we were in the past. We are expected to evolve to the next level spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically. Stop fighting backwards and begin moving forward with nothing but faith in your heart that God will lead you to prosperity, wholeness, joy, discernment, peace, and clarity! Don’t focus on the end result or outcome, but rather remain certain that you’re in good hands.

That my friend, is how you pass the test! Place your focus on God and pray for alignment. Challenge your mindset from pursuing things that make you happy and replace it with thoughts and actions which may be pleasing to Him. Sounds easy, right? Hahaha! No, it’s much easier said than done, but your life can change to be more satisfying from a wholistic perspective that does not require mental stimulus from drugs or alcohol. Instead of running away from your fears and doubt, you will slowly begin to walk toward strength and positivity. You will gradually find yourself filled with optimism which will soon give birth to Hope! Don’t expect to go from 0-100. Don’t expect the process to be linear, as there will be times for a pause, a step to the side, or even a hop over an obstacle. Remember, the focus is on the journey rather than the finish line.

No none of us know what the finish line looks like or when we will reach it. However, we can control how we get there and our mental, emotional, and psychological state when we make it. Many believe you can manifest the life you want and things will gravitate toward you based on your manifestation. My only caution is to ensure you’re tapping into the true light during your manifestations. I would hate for this earth to become the greatest “heaven” you will experience. There is so much more waiting for us!

Be patient. Be kind. Be loving. Be resilient. Be courageous. Be bold. Be faithful, to God!

Life, by Author Wallace

Many days we wake up completed exhausted, both mentally and emotionally; physically, we could run a marathon. How is this possible? Is something wrong with me? Everyone knows the human body is such a miraculous creation, and we are still learning new things about its functions and capabilities. Some of you, like me, wake up feeling lost. It’s not severe enough to worry you, but it’s deep enough to make lay there as your mind wonders from one thought to the next. Is it because of my Zodiac sign, although its seldom that I acknowledge astrology when searching for reason? Is it because I’m addicted to overthinking? Is it because I simply enjoy exploring the unknown? Maybe, this is adulting, right? This happens to people approaching 30 years of age, right? Life!

Life is so unpredictable, and as soon as you believe you have things figured out, BOOM! Life serves you a curveball, and now you’re back where you started, in bed and staring at the ceiling and puzzled on how you ended up in your current situation. What did I do to deserve this? Is this my punishment for not giving the homeless man $2 at the gas station? “I promise I just didn’t want to build the expectation that I’ll always have an extra dollar every time I come to get gas or a bag of chips or my favorite candy bar.” Life!

Wow! If you believe life is a game, please provide me with the cheat codes so that I may give my brain a break from thinking and drawing conclusions. Who knew that mental and emotional exhaustion can build to a point that it leaves you paralyzed? Who knew? One day you can flip a military tank, and the next day you’re crawling out of bed fighting desperately to make it to work because you have bills to pay. Who knew? One day you can’t wait to call your best friend and the next day your phone is on “Do Not Disturb” because the life inside of you that enjoys socializing is simply gone! Lights out folks, because you have nothing left. Life!

This, this can’t be life, right? What’s the matter with me? “Lord, help me to identify the issue that’s controlling my subconscious and impacting my reality!” We scream these words to heaven with our eyes filled with liquid hope. Our lips tremble as hope escape our eyes and runs down our cheeks. Suddenly, the space around you moves in slow motion as hope drips from the bottom of your chin and falls ever slowly to the floor. Your eyes close as the confusion in your head converts to emptiness in your heart, and you fall. You fall down to your knees as hope creates a puddle beneath you, creating a black hole attempting to swallow you whole. Life!

Many may believe this is a display of weakness, by allowing yourself to be so vulnerable. But, what do they know? How many lives have they lived? Do they have a direct hotline to the Almighty who has all power and knowledge? No! Each of us, have the right and I dare say privilege to feel how we feel, unapologetically! Donnie McClurkin once said that a Saint is just a sinner who fell down, and got up! My friend, fall, fall to your knees and allow that pain to flow through you and out into the abyss. But, remember to find the strength to get up once again. You’re still in this fight, and you have been equipped to win whether you believe it or not. Life!

Become the author of your own story as you pray to the creator of words. You will discover that not only will you be blessed with the strength to get up, but you’ll be running that marathon, the marathon called LIFE!

The Darkness, Called Doubt – by Author Wallace

One thing that kills our community, is doubt! And, I’ll be one of the first to say, “It’s not your fault.” You may have witnessed your childhood friend getting gunned down by another classmate simply because he/she made good grades on their homework and exams. You may have experienced bullying because your entrepreneurial spirit escalated at an early age. Some people may have been outcasts because they were too poor to fit-in.

Families fall apart and children are forced to choose one parent over the other. Single parents work two jobs and still barely providing for their kids. Exhausted teachers with no support and growing classrooms, take their frustrations out on the students. Police make unlawful arrests, incarcerate the youth on petty drug charges, but fail to convict murderers. And, all these things may have contributed to you losing hope in yourself, family, and community.

One bad experience after another and you find yourself filled with doubt. Doubting that you can make it out of your community alive. Doubting that you’re worthy of success. Doubting that you’ll live to see your 18th or 21st birthday. Who would have thought that living to see your 18th birthday was a life goal worth cherishing? Could you imagine waking up everyday and the thought of returning home alive consuming your thought process? Perhaps, you can and sadly for some, that’s their greatest life achievement.

Young kids usually start off with dreams of being an astronaut, famous dancer, professional athlete, lawyer, doctor, and even the president. I can recall excitement oozing from a child’s eyes and smile as he/she spoke about their big dreams of conquering the world and building their legacy. But, now it’s disturbing how a hard life eats away at your inner light, and fills you with the darkness, known as doubt, and you’re left with nothing but survival instincts.

I repeat, it is not your fault and you are not alone! The life of your community depends on you and the actions you take to revive it back to it’s former glory, or to elevate it to a status no one has ever witnessed. Your past does not have to define your future. Your current struggles do not have to define your destiny. Your limitations do not have to detour your focus or dreams. Your were created uniquely different from anyone else, and you possess the tools to achieve your wildest dreams. The only being capable of stopping you, is YOU!

It is ok to be afraid of what the future holds! It is ok to be uncertain about how things will end. It is even ok to question whether you’re ready to take that leap of faith. Just remember, greatness is waiting for you on the other side of that struggle, disadvantage, or doubt you’re currently facing. But, always find the courage to listen to that voice on the inside saying, “The time is now, you can do this!”

Thank you for reading my blog, and share this message with others! Also, remember to leave a comment about how you felt while reading this week’s blog. Did it resonate with you and a previous or current battle you’re fighting? Tell me your thoughts and we can discuss more.

Be blessed, my friends!

Life on the Soccer Field, by Author Wallace

Life will treat you like a soccer ball and kick you all over the field if you try to control it. Many of us believe that the “free will” granted to us by the Almighty truly gave us authority over our lives. But, this my friend, is a false expectation to have and it will lead to a life of emptiness and void. No one knows how their life will end, but the one thing we hold on to is Faith.

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Faith is our assurance, that although we are blind, we trust that everything will work out for the greater good. Some of us have even stronger faith and believe that all things happen in accordance to the will of God. But, why do so many of us continue to make life plans?

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Why is it so important to know or to plan, what’s next? Does it provide some sense of security? Is it a part of our human nature to control things, even if we know the delegated authority we possess over our life is false?

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When I was younger, I used to believe that by making “life goals” and setting a time frame for completion, that I was trusting God to make them happen. However, after life kicked my butt up and down the soccer field time-after-time, I soon realized that God never instructed me to accomplish the items on that list.

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As I grew older, I began to change the way I approached life and I even adjusted the way I prayed. My prayers evolved on a spiritual level such as,

“Father God, I come to you right now to say, thank you! Thank you for all you have done and for all the blessings you have showered me with. I’m not sure what’s next or what I’m supposed to do, so, I humbly ask for your guidance and direction. Please, provide me with clear signs on what I’m supposed to pursue as it relates to my purpose in life. Direct me towards the appropriate people, places, and circumstances that are aligned with your will for my life. I only want to make you proud. I only want to pursue what will make you happy and satisfied with who I have become. Remove everything within me, my mind, my body, and my spirit that is not sent or approved by you. I trust you, I love you, and your acceptance is all that matters to me. Father God, I thank you in advance for all that you have in store for me, in my life. If I stray from your path, please redirect me immediately and remove any thought, person, emotion, or feeling of doubt leading me away from you. These and all the blessings I pray in your son’s Jesus name, Amen!”

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It’s liberating how your life turns completely around when you hand over control to the one who holds all power. Personally, my life has not been the same since I handed over all my problems, anxiety, and doubt over to The Almighty. Perhaps, this testimony will help you, too.

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Thank you for reading and feel free to leave your comments below!