Life - MATHIAS WALLACE

Good News: You Deserve it, Too!

Have you ever been afraid to be excited? Ever feared the thought of happiness? What does this mean, or better yet, what does this say about us? Are we really this traumatized by our past that we feel undeserving?

Perhaps, we’re not accustomed to moments of happiness without the accompanying friend of “horror”. Does this make us feel cursed, or conditioned to believe our life is destined to experience chaos for the rest of our days?

Unfortunately, this is a lived reality for many people due to the less desirable moments from their past that continue to haunt desperately in our sleep, robbing us of hope before it has time to develop and manifest. Time after time misfortune 1-2 stepped its way into the life of the least expected…the innocent…the believers.

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No warning or signal offered for the sake of preparation. Just turmoil and grief waiting patiently at the door of the kindhearted with a crooked smile of despair and torment.

Incidentally, the endless highway of speedbumps and potholes have wrecked our vessel to a state of impairment which weakens our imagination for recovery. Why fix anything today that can be stolen and vandalized tomorrow? If it happened once, it could happen again, right? This new car was purchased to change my life…I restored my credit to shift my future…I saved my funds to distance me from discrimination.

Now I’ve been robbed of the entire dream…a total stranger has stolen everything from me with one swipe, leaving me with nothing but what I deserve…a life of victimhood and emptiness.

Did I celebrate too loudly? Was my happiness too cheerful? Tell me my joy wasn’t discouraging for others. Am I too damaged to deserve better?

Moreover, is it weird to feel as though your good news or blessings come ahead of the sacrifice? One moment it’s, “Congratulations on your new job and promotion!” Then later it’s, “I’m sorry your house burned down in the middle of the night.”

One moment you’re celebrating the pregnancy news of the son you’ve always wanted, just for it to be overshadowed by the death of your last living grandparent. Now who’s going to give your child that special love and wisdom that only a grandparent can share? So much for waiting for the right time to have a baby, right?

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In the same fashion, you dated mindfully…not giving your body to just any stranger…you learned your love language…you identified your boundaries…you mastered the moments to lead and cherished the moments to follow…and you suddenly found yourself falling head over heels for someone you never saw coming.

Their voice pierced your soul…their laugh made your heartbeat faster…their kindness made you levitate through the air…their love silenced every fear trapped in your mind…their selflessness healed the brokenness you hid from the world.

You were once a crippled butterfly trapped in the darkness of a hollowed tree, but their prayers mended your wings and strengthened the breath in your lungs.

As a matter of fact, you found yourself learning to fly once again. Soaring through the rain forest as God’s light shined on you through the spaces of the huge trees standing tall in the canopy. Birds chirped in celebration of your gracious return. Flowers bloomed to grace you with a royal welcome. Chipmunks danced down below as your glorious return distributed dopamine throughout the jungle like pixie dust in a fairytale.

For the first time, you felt free…worthy…complete…blessed…whole!

In spite of the joy flowing rapidly through your system, you can feel the hairs standing tall on the back of your neck. This time you could feel the wickedness nearing close to you. But why? Why now? For the first time in years, you’ve experienced an unsolicited, blissfully intoxicating love and happiness that nourished your soul.

Nevertheless, your beautiful wings of optimism and potential found themselves trapped in a web of misery and dejection.

Instantly, the joy that was flowing freely through your veins quickly turned sourly into gloom. You looked over as tears fell from your face and noticed the spider [demon] approaching with its malice to poison you.

Suddenly, you close your eyes and begin to pray…not for tools…not for resources…but to thank The Almighty for the life you have lived…the blessings received…the experiences gained…the moments to know true love. Then shockingly, a toad [Angel] appears and eats the spider [demon] before it drains you of your life source [soul], and you find yourself freed from the web of entrapment [earthly kingdom].

^“15And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

No blessing is above God and His love and no misfortune is greater than the power in His hands. Not every “No” is a “Denial”! There is unimaginable power in your words, therefore you attract what you confess with your tongue.

Conversely, sometimes we pray for things we are not fully prepared to embrace. Let’s start by healing our childhood trauma, forgiving our trespassers, congratulating our neighbors, and being grateful even when it’s not our turn.

Everyone deserves goodness [good news] and mercy [protection]! Just remember the ultimate prize in life is gaining access into heaven; nothing measures up to this reward. I love you and can’t wait to see your there…in our special place where pain, sorrow, fear, regret, and worry no longer exist. The good news…You Deserve it, Too!

Beyond the Sweetness of Delusion: One Shocking Call for Help

Many things have been said and done towards us over the years. Some of these encounters came with perfect timing, providing just what we needed at the moment. We were encouraged, provided with resources, or given wisdom. Some people have a gift of knowing exactly what to say. Others are blessed and driven to help others with the tools available for dissemination to those struggling.

Not to mention, it’s such a blessing to know these types of people who never ask for anything…they offer and add value to your life. They do not burden you with their horror stories at a sad attempt of winning the “Who has the Worst Life” award. They share things that are exciting, distracting from your daily woes and times of strife.

They share things that remind you that the world is still spinning and life continues to move forward. It forces you to decide whether to remain stagnant or fight for the life you deserve. Some of the battles we face require assistance from the outside… a source greater than ourselves…an essence not stripped of its catalyst of strength.

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Let’s give a shout out to the people that listen with an open ear…non-judgmental friends/family that see us as humans first. We love you! At times, you give the best advice. You never allow us to live in our delusion or false realities that offer a temporary guise of healing and peace.

Moreover, the words of positivity that you offer… the hugs you extend… the car rides in silence…or having your presence near us…they remind us God is real. They remind us He is loving. They remind us He is forgiving. They remind us He has warriors positioned all over and serving His will.

The strong one! The wise one! The image of resilience! The voice of reason and logic!

As a matter of fact, we recognize that those who carry these titles did not willingly choose them on their own. Some of us were involuntarily nominated in these roles at an early age and the responsibility never quite reassigned itself to someone else.

Why? Why must we achieve excellence in everything we do? Where does the strength come from? Or are you/we better at hiding what’s really going on? Does helping others provide a selfless outlet or escape from your own problems?

Similarly, this must be part of your strategy for healing, by supporting others, counseling the broken, equipping the poor, and serving the unfortunate…a more commendable space of delusion, of course.

Though, if we could be honest for a moment, delusion feels good when it’s not active in an atmosphere of toxicity. We cannot sit here and pretend otherwise. On the contrary, delusion is like the mid-night snack we know is not good for our health, but it will satisfy the craving and send us off to sleep.

In spite of the weird dreams that may come with eating so close to bedtime, we managed to fall asleep and that was the priority! Most would prefer to feel weird rather than restless. In this case, a win is a win!

When we think back in time and the conversations or interactions with people, not everything said has hurt us. Not everything said has broken our spirits. Not all things said or done required a response or reaction. Not all things done to us left a physical bruise to remind us of the altercation or disagreement.

Most, as you begin to reminisce, may recall taking the high road regardless to maintain peace and minimize hostility. Has there ever been a moment where the high road cost your peace of mind? Has it ever caused your spirit to be unsettled? Did it fill you with regret? How often does this encounter stalk you while daydreaming?

Comparatively to the previous scenario, this too, is delusion. We often times find ourselves compromising and accommodating others for the sake of being peaceful. As perplexed as it may sound, these “selfless” acts can cause more damage if we’re not careful.

We should not be compromising when our values are completely disregarded by the oppressor. We should not be accommodating when our faith is under attack, no matter the discomfort or level of intimidation. We should not take the high road when our family values are omitted, leaving our loved ones demoralized or petrified. We should not turn the other cheek when decrepit soulless beings attempt to steal our souls, joy, purpose, or connection to The Almighty.

As apprehensive as it may seem, these are not the instances to sit in the delusion of taking the high road. This my friend is when we turn and fight. We fight for what is ours. We fight for what we have worked so hard for in life. We fight for the things God has declared were ours, and ours along.

We fight to take a stand! We fight to be remembered! We fight for the weak! We fight for lost souls unable to find their way. We fight for the disadvantaged! We fight for the underdog! We fight because this spiritual warfare has claimed too many lives.

We fight because our Purpose is bigger than Pride!

To have clarity of when to fight and when to stand down, one must be connected, anointed, patient, humble, slow to react, a praying warrior, purpose-filled, and emptied of him/herself and sustained by the Holy one.

That promotion is yours, position yourself to be competitive. That new house is yours, build your team and go for it. That new business is yours, establish a plan and pursue it. That healing you’ve prayed for is on it way, pray and believe it is done. That emptiness deep inside does not belong there, claim your purpose every day and believe it. That justice belongs to you, equip yourself with the resources to declare victory.

Prayer – Action = Disappointment & Defeat

I write this passage to declare your Victory in 2026! Be Bold, Kind, Thoughtful, Vigilant, Confident, Hopeful, True, and practice Discernment!

The Test, by Author Wallace

In many, if not most, cases I believe we as humans have no clue what life is about. This leads to my perception of why faith/belief may serve as both relief and/or tremulous fear. Doubt, guilt, optimism, overwhelming sadness, or even unrelenting streaks of good luck, my friend, may influence your mental state and there is no telling where you may fall on the spectrum of “clarity” for the most important question of our entire existence because of these intoxicating emotions. “Why are we here, or why were we created?”

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I believe those who indulge in alcoholism/drug-use without pause are desperately trying to escape their sadness, hurt, and disappointment with the lack of answers and direction from the Almighty God. “If He spoke to people in the bible, then why not speak to me? Why can’t He hear me? Why doesn’t He respond to my prayers? Is He even listening? Is He really there?” These are the questions several brothers and sisters of faith have shared with me which have influenced the feeling of loneliness and abandonment, in terms of their connection to faith.

In my mind, this has contributed greatly to the trending culture of “Living Your Best Life” or “You Only Live Once” lifestyles. Why think of the future, which you have no control over, if you can simply focus on the present and do what makes you happy? Do you think this thought process plays into why church congregations are declining? Was this the case for you? Some think it’s easier to live a life of no regrets and no consideration of consequences for their actions. There is nothing wrong with happiness on earth, right? We all deserve happiness, right? Anyone who chooses to live along the lines of these principles, I have one question. Do you think obtaining and maintaining the pleasures of this world is our ultimate purpose? Let that marinate for a moment as we continue to explore this topic.

For me, life is extremely complicated while our individual purpose for existing is succinct and yet profound. The big question from me to you, is whether you’re going to allow your trials aka tests, to define you in a spiral of disarray, or lead you through a path of evolution and selflessness? The average human being fights relentlessly to return to their “old self” when life strikes them with tragedy or trauma. Unfortunately, they lose the fight each time which leads them to living the YOLO lifestyle as described above, due to constant defeat and lack of clarity. “Why can’t I be happy like before the incident(s)? Why do I feel this void?” My dear friend, when life kicks our a**, it’s not designed or expected of us to return to who we were in the past. We are expected to evolve to the next level spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically. Stop fighting backwards and begin moving forward with nothing but faith in your heart that God will lead you to prosperity, wholeness, joy, discernment, peace, and clarity! Don’t focus on the end result or outcome, but rather remain certain that you’re in good hands.

That my friend, is how you pass the test! Place your focus on God and pray for alignment. Challenge your mindset from pursuing things that make you happy and replace it with thoughts and actions which may be pleasing to Him. Sounds easy, right? Hahaha! No, it’s much easier said than done, but your life can change to be more satisfying from a wholistic perspective that does not require mental stimulus from drugs or alcohol. Instead of running away from your fears and doubt, you will slowly begin to walk toward strength and positivity. You will gradually find yourself filled with optimism which will soon give birth to Hope! Don’t expect to go from 0-100. Don’t expect the process to be linear, as there will be times for a pause, a step to the side, or even a hop over an obstacle. Remember, the focus is on the journey rather than the finish line.

None of us know what the finish line looks like or when we will reach it. However, we can control how we get there and our mental, emotional, and psychological state when we make it. Many believe you can manifest the life you want and things will gravitate toward you based on your manifestation. My only caution is to ensure you’re tapping into the true light during your manifestations. I would hate for this earth to become the greatest “heaven” you will experience. There is so much more waiting for us!

Be patient. Be kind. Be loving. Be resilient. Be courageous. Be bold. Be faithful, to God!

Life, by Author Wallace

Many days we wake up completed exhausted, both mentally and emotionally; physically, we could run a marathon. How is this possible? Is something wrong with me? Everyone knows the human body is such a miraculous creation, and we are still learning new things about its functions and capabilities. Some of you, like me, wake up feeling lost. It’s not severe enough to worry you, but it’s deep enough to make lay there as your mind wonders from one thought to the next. Is it because of my Zodiac sign, although its seldom that I acknowledge astrology when searching for reason? Is it because I’m addicted to overthinking? Is it because I simply enjoy exploring the unknown? Maybe, this is adulting, right? This happens to people approaching 30 years of age, right? Life!

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Life is so unpredictable, and as soon as you believe you have things figured out, BOOM! Life serves you a curveball, and now you’re back where you started, in bed and staring at the ceiling and puzzled on how you ended up in your current situation. What did I do to deserve this? Is this my punishment for not giving the homeless man $2 at the gas station? “I promise I just didn’t want to build the expectation that I’ll always have an extra dollar every time I come to get gas or a bag of chips or my favorite candy bar.” Life!

Wow! If you believe life is a game, please provide me with the cheat codes so that I may give my brain a break from thinking and drawing conclusions. Who knew that mental and emotional exhaustion can build to a point that it leaves you paralyzed? Who knew? One day you can flip a military tank, and the next day you’re crawling out of bed fighting desperately to make it to work because you have bills to pay. Who knew? One day you can’t wait to call your best friend and the next day your phone is on “Do Not Disturb” because the life inside of you that enjoys socializing is simply gone! Lights out folks, because you have nothing left. Life!

This, this can’t be life, right? What’s the matter with me? “Lord, help me to identify the issue that’s controlling my subconscious and impacting my reality!” We scream these words to heaven with our eyes filled with liquid hope. Our lips tremble as hope escape our eyes and runs down our cheeks. Suddenly, the space around you moves in slow motion as hope drips from the bottom of your chin and falls ever slowly to the floor. Your eyes close as the confusion in your head converts to emptiness in your heart, and you fall. You fall down to your knees as hope creates a puddle beneath you, creating a black hole attempting to swallow you whole. Life!

Many may believe this is a display of weakness, by allowing yourself to be so vulnerable. But, what do they know? How many lives have they lived? Do they have a direct hotline to the Almighty who has all power and knowledge? No! Each of us, have the right and I dare say privilege to feel how we feel, unapologetically! Donnie McClurkin once said that a Saint is just a sinner who fell down, and got up! My friend, fall, fall to your knees and allow that pain to flow through you and out into the abyss. But, remember to find the strength to get up once again. You’re still in this fight, and you have been equipped to win whether you believe it or not. Life!

Become the author of your own story as you pray to the creator of words. You will discover that not only will you be blessed with the strength to get up, but you’ll be running that marathon, the marathon called LIFE!

The Darkness, Called Doubt – by Author Wallace

One thing that kills our community, is doubt! And, I’ll be one of the first to say, “It’s not your fault.” You may have witnessed your childhood friend getting gunned down by another classmate simply because he/she made good grades on their homework and exams. You may have experienced bullying because your entrepreneurial spirit escalated at an early age. Some people may have been outcasts because they were too poor to fit-in.

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Families fall apart and children are forced to choose one parent over the other. Single parents work two jobs and still barely providing for their kids. Exhausted teachers with no support and growing classrooms, take their frustrations out on the students. Police make unlawful arrests, incarcerate the youth on petty drug charges, but fail to convict murderers. And, all these things may have contributed to you losing hope in yourself, family, and community.

One bad experience after another and you find yourself filled with doubt. Doubting that you can make it out of your community alive. Doubting that you’re worthy of success. Doubting that you’ll live to see your 18th or 21st birthday. Who would have thought that living to see your 18th birthday was a life goal worth cherishing? Could you imagine waking up everyday and the thought of returning home alive consuming your thought process? Perhaps, you can and sadly for some, that’s their greatest life achievement.

Young kids usually start off with dreams of being an astronaut, famous dancer, professional athlete, lawyer, doctor, and even the president. I can recall excitement oozing from a child’s eyes and smile as he/she spoke about their big dreams of conquering the world and building their legacy. But, now it’s disturbing how a hard life eats away at your inner light, and fills you with the darkness, known as doubt, and you’re left with nothing but survival instincts.

I repeat, it is not your fault and you are not alone! The life of your community depends on you and the actions you take to revive it back to it’s former glory, or to elevate it to a status no one has ever witnessed. Your past does not have to define your future. Your current struggles do not have to define your destiny. Your limitations do not have to detour your focus or dreams. Your were created uniquely different from anyone else, and you possess the tools to achieve your wildest dreams. The only being capable of stopping you, is YOU!

It is ok to be afraid of what the future holds! It is ok to be uncertain about how things will end. It is even ok to question whether you’re ready to take that leap of faith. Just remember, greatness is waiting for you on the other side of that struggle, disadvantage, or doubt you’re currently facing. But, always find the courage to listen to that voice on the inside saying, “The time is now, you can do this!”

Thank you for reading my blog, and share this message with others! Also, remember to leave a comment about how you felt while reading this week’s blog. Did it resonate with you and a previous or current battle you’re fighting? Tell me your thoughts and we can discuss more.

Be blessed, my friends!

Life on the Soccer Field, by Author Wallace

Life will treat you like a soccer ball and kick you all over the field if you try to control it. Many of us believe that the “free will” granted to us by the Almighty truly gave us authority over our lives. But, this my friend, is a false expectation to have and it will lead to a life of emptiness and void. No one knows how their life will end, but the one thing we hold on to is Faith.

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Faith is our assurance, that although we are blind, we trust that everything will work out for the greater good. Some of us have even stronger faith and believe that all things happen in accordance to the will of God. But, why do so many of us continue to make life plans?

Why is it so important to know or to plan, what’s next? Does it provide some sense of security? Is it a part of our human nature to control things, even if we know the delegated authority we possess over our life is false?

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When I was younger, I used to believe that by making “life goals” and setting a time frame for completion, that I was trusting God to make them happen. However, after life kicked my butt up and down the soccer field time-after-time, I soon realized that God never instructed me to accomplish the items on that list.

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As I grew older, I began to change the way I approached life, and I even adjusted the way I prayed. My prayers evolved on a spiritual level such as,

“Father God, I come to you right now to say, thank you! Thank you for all you have done and for all the blessings you have showered me with. I’m not sure what’s next or what I’m supposed to do, so, I humbly ask for your guidance and direction. Please, provide me with clear signs on what I’m supposed to pursue as it relates to my purpose in life. Direct me towards the appropriate people, places, and circumstances that are aligned with your will for my life. I only want to make you proud. I only want to pursue what will make you happy and satisfied with who I have become. Remove everything within me, my mind, my body, and my spirit that is not sent or approved by you. I trust you, I love you, and your acceptance is all that matters to me. Father God, I thank you in advance for all that you have in store for me, in my life. If I stray from your path, please redirect me immediately and remove any thought, person, emotion, or feeling of doubt leading me away from you. These and all the blessings I pray in your son’s Jesus name, Amen!”

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It’s liberating how your life turns completely around when you hand over control to the one who holds all power. Personally, my life has not been the same since I handed over all my problems, anxiety, and doubt over to The Almighty. Perhaps, this testimony will help you, too.

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Thank you for reading and feel free to leave your comments below!